September 5, 2009

Unlucky in Health = Lucky in Love?

There's a pattern I've noticed in discussions on Facebook and with other II sufferers. Many of us seem to have found a life partner who is solid, reliable, understanding, and willing to help us through our chronically messed-up lives. For a lot of us, including myself, we found that person at a relatively young age (younger than my contemporaries, at least), and were able to skip a lot of the usual relationship melodrama that haunts most people I know. I have to wonder, is it some kind of "balance" from "Ok I'm going to give you a challenge, and it's going to be a big one, but to help you through I'm going to make this one other part of your life much easier"?

Obviously, I'm not talking about everybody. Plenty of II sufferers are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, and sadly quite a few have seen their relationships fall apart when the stress of a chronically ill significant other became too much. And I do care about these people. However part of my goal here is to remind everyone why we should have hope, why we should believe things can be what we want them to be. So, while many people have not yet found the "lucky love" of their lives, there are at least a sizable minority of us who have. Maybe we, and our "lucky loves", can serve to remind those still looking that there are good people out there, who will accept and love you with whatever baggage you carry. Everything happens for a reason, so if you're still looking or even have been through a breakup, I'm sure it's for the best, and you have to keep hope.

Having this "lucky love" is invaluable. This is the person who NEVER rolls their eyes when you say something hurts. The one who knows exactly when a joke about your illnesses is needed, but jumps to your defense in public when someone else crosses a line. Better yet, they go to the store when you can't move to get you whatever concoction you've decided to try this time around, and are glad to do it because they hope it's going to work. They're not perfect - sometimes they just have to get out of the house for a while even though you're stuck inside with a flare, and they can infuriate you when they take their health for granted. But they're in for the long haul, and when they come back from their night out with friends the first thing they do is reheat your heating pad so you don't have to get up. Remember that they've adjusted their life plans just like you have...only they didn't HAVE to. You were forced to have the misbehaving body you do, but they chose to live by your parameters. Think about that - they've given you a true love you never have to question (maybe wonder "why me" sometimes, and always be grateful for, but never question or doubt). With all those doubts buzzing around your head about medications, long term disease progression, childbirth and child rearing, careers, etc etc etc, you've been relieved of one:)

1 comment:

  1. Jen I love you and this blog is an amazing idea! Not only that but you and the hubs give me serious hope for my future adventures in love :) Keep it coming all I'll keep reading.


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